I've been home from the Michigan trip for about two weeks now, and man, it's really hard to get used to the shorter days. It wasn't too bad until daylight savings time kicked in on Sunday..but now, there is a sunset at about 3:45 and everyday from 5-10pm, I feel like I should be in bed sleeping. I sleep a lot now actually. Just as it was difficult to find a balance when it was 24 hrs of daylight, the lack of daylight is just as bad--if not worse. I sleep about 10 hours each night and then have to take a nap in the afternoon...and I feel totally drained in between. guhhhhh...I almost miss Oklahoma :( almost. lol. Matt applied for a job in Milwaukee---I hope he gets that. We're both getting antsy to settle down and start a family, buy a house, and build our lives in a more permanent and not temporary way. :) It's a long shot since he doesn't have enough experience yet, but it's worth a shot. We've decided that he'll apply for anything within our "willing to settle permanently" category, and Milwaukee qualifies. Charleston (WV) is open as well and he seems to think it's like Glasgow in the respect that it's easier to get into since nobody really wants it. It sounds like OK : hot and humid summers, rainy winters and tornadoes and rain in between. I'm kinda indifferent about that place... it sounds hot and muggy, but not too far away are some little mountains and state parks and stuff (that are on the correct side of the mts to get less precip and be drier)...so camping is more doable. I'm leaving this particular one up to him. It's definitely not in our "willing to settle permanently" category. We'll see....

I'm actually very looking forward to Christmas--- because there are presents and lots of yummy things AND the days begin to get longer.

Here in Goodrich, it's the day of Nick and Michelle's wedding. Two days of craziness after we arrived, I feel like a shadow of my former self. I'm jet-lagged, exhausted, and can't sleep for shit. The four hour time difference really sucks. I'm actually looking forward to being able to go to bed early and sleep in at Matt's parents.

Thursday I went shopping all day with Andrea. It was exhausting, but at the same time, a lot of fun. :) Friday was filled with wedding prep stuff : decorating the hall, rehearsal and the dinner that followed. Today is Saturday. I was going to run this morning, but I just don't think that I have the energy. I should just chill out and do nothing for the morning before the ceremony and reception craziness begin.

Well..time for breakfast and a shower. TTFN.

Matt and I bought skis last week. The day we got them it was 45 degrees and sunny--all the snow melted. I felt kinda silly. That all changed on Sunday morning. We got all of that snow back and then some, adding up to 5 inches in a 36 hr period. We went skiing yesterday for the first time this year. It was fun. :)

Right now it is -2 degrees outside and I can feel the cold coming through the window. Our tomato plants miss the sunshine through the window and probably can feel the cold. BRRR!!!

Tomorrow, Matt and I leave for Michigan. Nick's wedding is on Saturday. Then we go to Matt's parents', then Grandma's, and the my parents'. Woo! Lots to do until then.

Winter is still here. In fact, it is snowing again as we speak. YUCK.

Well, I have been kinda bummed out lately. I don't know if its because winter is coming WAY EARLIER than I want it to or if its my green pill week that's doing it, but I hate when this happens. I feel like sleeping all the time and have absolutely no motivation.

I did build a snowman the night of the first snow. We got 1.2 in. of snow here....it was fun building one again, but I'm ready for summer to return already. Damn, this is going to be a long winter. I think I'd be ok with the whole thing if it was November rather than the end of September, but just knowing this is the beginning of six long months...yikes.

September 27. 9:00am. Earliest I've seen snow EVER. This is going to be one fuckin' LONG winter. :P boo.

Monday I had my 3-year cancer checkups and I'm pleased to announce that I am now a 3-year cancer survivor!! :) Only two more years until I can be called CURED and totally free of this thing.

I've also been talking to Matt more seriously about our trip to France and how we'll swing it financially...and I think we're going to make it work somehow even if we eat nothing but cheap food until then. That's awesome.

Now that the Equinox is over, I'm not really motivated to do a whole lot of running. I also have a problem with the arch of my right foot. I think it might be an overuse injury or from wearing poorly fitting shoes to work. After a painful run yesterday, I think I'm going to switch to swimming for a few weeks so I can let it recover.

After a week of being sick and depleted of energy, I had the Equinox Marathon relay. The morning of the race, I was completely unmotivated by the cold and rain. I just wanted to curl back up in my nice cozy bed. It's my birthday, I should be sleeping in!! After convincing myself to wake up with a large chai tea latte, I was out of bed and getting ready to go. There was a meeting at 7:30 for all runners, which basically detailed the major hazards along the course: most importantly, the train crossings. Their message was basically this : Do not try to beat the train. You will lose. We have people standing there to make sure you don't kill yourself. After that wonderfully motivational message, we helped Julie (who ran the first leg) warm up and we took her sweatshirt and pants. We also took some pictures and cheered everyone on at the start. Julie also made me a tshirt for my birthday that says on the front : "It's my birthday..." and on the back "so there better be CAKE at the finish line." I loved it. :)

After the race started, Matt and I drove to the mile 6, one of the few places that the course crossed the road. We were armed with our signs of encouragement and the camera. We cheered Julie on and then drove to the relay transfer point. Since there was no chip time, it was a bigger deal than it should've been since everything was done by hand. There were tons of people waiting for the hand-off and even more making sure everyone followed the rules and kept their times. We waited for Julie and then when she arrived, Matt took off. We drove to the top of Ester Dome and it was raining and there was a 20mph wind. As if Matt's leg wouldn't be bad enough, the weather had to be uncooperative. We saw him at mile 13 and he looked like he was doing well and I offered him a coat, but he said he didn't need it. For as steep as his leg was, he did amazingly well!! :) He got the same time as Julie did, for the same distance, but MUCH more elevation change...about 2,000 ft to be exact. Then it was my turn. Matt came running through the chute and I kissed him instead of tapping him and then I was off.

I was equipped with my iPod and fully intended to lose myself in the music. I have never run in a race with music before, but it kept me focused on running. I didn't get to enjoy the sounds as much though...but the course was really empty compared to most races I've run. I could only see three or four people ahead of me at one time, if any at all. Everyone cheered for me as I went by and heard a lot of "Happy Birthday!" wishes. The downhill wasn't as hard on my knees and hips as it had been when we first ran it in training. I think I also ran faster this time, so all this training totally helped. :) The first 4 miles (17-21) were run on a very steep downhill, with the first mile being called "Alder Chute" (chute is the french word for waterfall), and it really felt like I was going down a rocky cliff. I was afraid to fall and did see the lady ahead of me do so, so I went down cautiously. About mile 19, the trail turned to road and I followed that down to a flatter area. Mile 22, I was met by the water station that Matt's coworkers were running. One of them is in a band, and they were playing there too. They had planned to play happy birthday for me as I ran by, but I came just as they were finishing up a break. They did play it as I was leaving though and were singing it as they got back to their instruments. As it turned out, a girl that was right behind me yelled out "it's my birthday too!" . That's so cool that they sang to the both of us. Speaking of birthdays, the female first place marathoner won on her birthday too! She was also born in 1984, so we were born the EXACT same day. :) What a birthday present...winning a marathon. Anyways, miles 23-25 blurred together through shin pain and general fatigue. Just when I thought all the trouble spots were gone, I hit a hill. In the last mile of this frickin' marathon, there's a hill. WTF, talk about cruel. I couldn't imagine doing the entire marathon and having that at the end. There were 3 people ahead of me going up this hill and NOBODY was running it at all. Most were hunched over, pushing their legs with their hands as they went up, including myself. We were rewarded with a nice long downhill to the finish line so all the runners finished strong and looked like they could run longer. I know I was glad to finish. Our relay leg times were as follows:
Julie - 8.6 mi. - 1:31.10 - rank 57/102
Matt - 8.4 mi - 1:31.45 - rank 40/102
Karen - 9.2 mi - 1:28.47 -rank 42/102
TOTAL TIME : 4 :31.43
OVERALL RANK : 42/102

I'm pleased with our performance. I don't know if I want to do a relay again, though. I spent all this time training with a buddy to have to run the race by myself. I'd rather run a half marathon with a friend by my side the whole time rather than do a relay. If this race had a 1/2, I would've done it in a heartbeat.

That night we celebrated my birthday with dinner. I was kinda pissed to start it all off because everyone showed up half an hour late. I hate when people aren't on time.. it makes me feel like I'm not important enough for them to care enough to be on time. GRRRR! But I'm easy, and they totally won me over with presents...which they wasted no time presenting to me when they arrived. I got a banana game from Rena and Mark, which is kinda strange but should be fun to learn how to play. It's similar to Scrabble, but I don't remember what it's called. Julie gave me a card that plays music and she baked me a cake. She also got the shirt for me that morning for the race. Rena's friend Selena came to dinner too. She's really fun. After dinner we went to FM to get some provisions....Long Island night. Everyone bought a bottle of booze and we went to stand in line. The guy ahead of us was impressed : "wow, everybody needs a bottle hey? you making long islands?". LOL. We had a good time talking and hanging out. We were loud for awhile and I was worried we'd piss off the neighbors, but nobody came over to complain about the noise. We all got to meet Julie's friend Adam too. As it turns out , he is from the UP too and JoAnne knows him from the mormon gettogethers that she used to go to in high school. I went to one, it was fun. I think they're pretty much designed to be like high school dances where all the mormon kids go to hang out and hopefully meet a future somebody to get married to and perpetuate the mormon religion into future generations. I mostly hung out with Zach B. who was the only other person I knew there, who was Emily's best friend in HS. Anyways, wierd coincidence I think.

Today I was very tired. I did some housekeeping stuff in preparation for winter. The patio door is completely blocked by our tomato plant family-- 10 plants in all. They are really huge too, but at least it'll be warmer for them in here and hopefully will help them produce more tomatoes. :) Well it's time to get ready for bed...I have my 3 yr cancer checkups in the morning, hopefully there will be good news.

This week was the longest one that I've had in quite some time. It was the first full week of class, band started AND I started subbing. Whew, was I happy for the weekend and a day of absolutely nothing. Today was that day. I watched the Pack beat the Lions and did some catching up on laundry.

Band was Thursday night. I got to chat with Sue and see how her summer went. She played in the summer band, so she wasn't nearly as out of practice as I was. We also have another alto, but I forgot his name. Wendy is conducting this time, so Sue is first alto. :) I really enjoy playing and every time I join a band like this, I'm reminded of how much I love music. Sometimes life gets too distracting to be reminded of how much I do love it.

Wednesday and Thursday, I subbed at different schools. On Thursday, I did the RSMS 8th grade science class. I loved it. The kids were so enthusiastic and very excited to do their projects. Usually I have a lot of problems with the last hour of the day since they're ready to go home, but these kids were really good. Maybe the Fairbanks kids aren't too bad. :)

Yesterday, Matt , Julie, and I did our final Equinox Marathon training run. We're running the relay on Saturday (my 24th birthday), so I think we're ready. Matt's leg, which we ran yesterday, was really really hilly (all uphill in fact, if you can believe that!) so it was really hard and I walked a lot of it. Boo! I'll be ready to run on Saturday though . I've also rediscovered my love of swimming....with just one problem. My swimcap was stuck to my swimsuit, and when I removed it, a bunch of the waterproof fabric sealer thing came off with it, so part of my swimsuit is see-through. Wonderful. I'll need to get a new one, but I looked in town and I'm NOT paying $65 for a swimsuit, I'll wait until I go back to MI to get one and wear a two piece inbetween.

Everything is going well..horray!

Today was my first day of sub teaching in Fairbanks. I was at a charter school nearby that specializes in an Athabaskan Indian culture education. It was kind of interesting to see so many minority kids being the majority. The first two classes I had behaved really well (although only watching a movie) and everything went smoothly. The third (and last, since I only had half a day) class was noisy and definitely testing my patience. I hate ending up barking out orders and getting mean, but I had to do it with them. Their teacher left specific instructions about things, so I had to follow them. The instructions kind of sucked, since it said that each student had to turn in their study guide before taking the quiz...and half the class didn't bring their study guide along. It's really hard to give a test to half of the class and keep the rest of the class quiet. I can't threaten to take their quiz away. Who knows. I can tell when I have a relatively good day because I leave 1. with a smile, 2. want to go back , and 3. don't have the worst tension headache ever. I enjoyed that the classes were smaller and that overall, the students were cooperative and helpful. Only a few tested my patience and grrrrrrrrr it's frustrating, but mostly they are good kids.

On a side note, I think one of the students had snuff he was using, but he didn't have a spit bottle or anything so I wasn't sure how to catch him, but he kept putting something with that texture and color into his mouth and made trips to the garbage can every 3-4 minutes to spit something out.

I'm not sure about competence of the prof for my French class. She spent the first half of class complaining about books and how all of them are inadequate for needs of her students so that's why we have $233 worth of books for ONE class and have to pay to make copies of other things on top of that. Also, she mispronounces things and can't spell rudimentary words like "salle" and "plancher" instead spells them "sale" and "planchet". Phonetically, they make sense, but as a professor of French, I think she should be able to spell. I'll give her a couple of more classes, and if I see that she's a total joke, I'll drop the class. I can't return the books since they were wrapped, and can't be returned once unwrapped, but I'll just suck it up and learn my lesson.

Riding the Bus

Since I now have a one UAF class and a student ID card, I can ride the MACS city buses for free. I figure that I'm going to do as much traveling that way as possible when winter comes. Yesterday was the day I decided to get some practice riding.

Highlights of my day:

1. Random guy yells to me "you're hot" as I cross the street. I guess he thinks cheap fleece is sexy. *shrugs*
2. Different random guy (stoned as all hell) tells me his life story while I wait for the bus. Apparently he lives between here and Anchorage and grows lots of pot--over 120 plants he says--and nobody can touch him because his dad is big and tough and he has a medicinal marijuana card. This was intended to impress me. It just reminded me of Steven. I'm cool, selling drugs, nobody can get me because of *insert really dumb reason here*. Just wait dude, someone'll get you.
3. Drunk lady and man in their 50's riding the bus at 2pm. The lady asked me what I was going to do with my life in 10 years. She says she can sense a fire in me. Pfft...whatever the hell that means. Coincidentally she started talking to me just before my stop, so I pulled the chain and got off. They all thought that she scared me away. Whatever. lol.
4. Random cute guy telling me about how he'd rather be moose hunting than in class. I told him a little about riding the bus all day saying that I had taken "just about every color".

All in all, I had a good day. Yes, it was long, filled with a lot of waiting, but I got to meet a lot of different people. Now I can truly say that Fairbanks is full of strange creatures.

I sort of suck at posting on this thing don't I? It has been a long time since May. Well , summer has come and is nearly over. The fall colors are the most beautiful ever. In Michigan, not all the plants turned color, only the trees. Here, everything from the tundra plants that barely grow off the ground, to the shrubs, to the trees---everything turns color. Matt and I went backpacking in Denali N.P. last weekend and it was absolutely gorgeous. All the tundra was RED, the shrubs were yellow and orange. It was beautiful.

So I've finally built a life here for myself. It's taken awhile, but I finally have friends. I'm starting a French class (equivalent to FRN 315 : Advanced French Grammar at CMU). I know I took this class, but it was exactly five years ago and I want to refine my skills for when we go to France (which we hope to do in April 2009). I'm also beginning substitute teaching once my fingerprints and background check go through. So I decided that one day that I was kind of sick of having no direction in my life and nothing to fill the days, but now I see some sort of structure to my life and it's nice. It gives me a little bit more purpose other than cleaning up after Matt. I did enjoy not working for the summer so we could go on different trips whenever Matt had days off--and they never fell on the same days each week, so it was convenient that we could go when he was off rather than coordinating days with my schedule. Band also begins again in a couple of weeks.

I have more girl friends than guy friends for the first time since elementary school. We went to the movies one day a couple weeks ago and we all dressed up in skirts. I love dressing up, but I can never get my guy buddies to do it---they're like "dress nice for a movie? it's dark, nobody will see anyways." Girls get it. I love that.

Matt and I ran a half marathon in North Pole in August with a friend and running newbie, Julie. I got a new PR of 2:02.12. The three of us are running the grueling Equinox Trail Marathon on my 24th birthday. We're doing a relay, so the legs are 8.6 mi (Julie), 8.4 mi --ridiculously hilly (Matt), and 9.2 mi--ridiculously steep downhill that I may fall and die on (Karen). It should be fun. :)

Well time for bed. Matt's parents are visiting for the week and I should get some beauty sleep. I also think that I'm getting a cold. :( boo. I better not be sick for my first day of school on Friday.

Ok, so it snowed yesterday, April 30. Not just a dusting either, like 5 inches! I'm getting kinda bummed about how winter is lingering.. I need summer ASAP. It's been really cloudy lately too so that makes me even more bummed. NEED SUNSHINE, NEED SUMMER. Pronto!

It's brought back memories talking to Meghan these last few days. She just moved to Dallas for a job and has a lot of the same experiences that I did when I first moved there. She's discovering that her allergies are MUCH MUCH worse and the only thing that works is Benadryl. Also about the heat and how it makes you lose some weight because it's too hot to eat fatty meals. All I wanted was salads and fruit for meals because they have so much water and aren't prepared hot. She also had a culture shock about how many mexican immigrants there are. It's almost like half of the people are of mexican origin. Coming from a place where noone but white people live, it's really different. As a sub teacher, I came in constant contact with kids of all origins and I especially enjoyed the kids that weren't what I was used to. They had different ways of talking and expressing themselves. Everyone had a southern accent too. I was a sub for an orchestra teacher one day and one girl was talking about an accident she had the previous day where she hurt herself on semen. I was like...did I just hear that right? She told this story to many other kids as they came into class and I realized she said "cement" instead of "semen". It's a good thing I didn't reprimand her for her language. :)

Spring is finally on it's way. The forecast includes all days in temps of 50-65, and that's all as far as the forecast goes. :) YAY! :) I'm going running with Sommer today and I might just wear shorts :)

Definitely an uninspired mood today. It's not often that I feel like writing in this thing, so we'll see what comes out.

Well, first of all, my health has been kinda bothering me. I've been having headaches almost everyday. I started back on my allergy meds and am going to the chiropractor on Monday, so hopefully those will go away with one of those things. I also have been having weird stomach problems with feeling nauseous only in the morning before I eat breakfast. It's not hunger pangs so who knows. I thought I might be pregnant, so I did the test and it's not that. So it's not morning sickness... My blood pressure has been up lately, but it could be my headaches stressing me out and causing pain. On top of that, I've been feeling really tired a lot since Christmas. I could be perfectly fine and just need to take more iron (I take some every other day now because I was feeling weak , read : anemia) so maybe I need to up it to every day. I don't eat much meat (maybe one or two meals a week) so it wouldn't be a surprise at all. Anyways, this is the rational Karen talking now. Sometimes I get the same girl who fought cancer a couple years ago and she pretty much breaks down into a huge panic. I met her again the other day. I totally freaked out about this whole thing. I don't usually just think, oh it's just this or that and have a response for each symptom with a different cause, I think CANCER. More specifically, I think leukemia, which happens in 5% of survivors that used my chemo meds. Yeah, it's not many, but only 200 people have Ewing's in the US every year, and I still got it. So lets just say, I'm not too good with odds.

I've been running a lot more lately, (up to 4 days a week or more) so I'm sure that is causing stress and fatigue. But as a runner of several years, I know the difference between over-exercising fatigue and the other kind. Some days it's one, some it's the other. Maybe I just need focus to my life. Anyways, lets switch gears here. Happy thoughts. OK.

Living here in Alaska has made me miss home. Spring comes much later here and I hate that people back home are going places without coats and wearing shorts. I'm jealous! I really love it here, though, don't get me wrong. I just want some warmer weather soon!

I've been asked what I do all day since I don't work. Well, I do a lot of wasting time. I've gotten sucked into the America's Next Top Model thing and have been watching previous episodes on YouTube a lot. I run a bunch everyday (or most everyday), and with that comes an hour or so of stretching and strength training and sometimes yoga. Matt usually doesn't compliment my body a lot, and last night he's like... you have really buff legs, where'd you get those? That's really nice to hear. :) I have been working with an exercise ball and yoga. I have sore butt muscles sometimes, but I like it. Soreness like that means progress. :) I've been playing in the Fairbanks Community Band lately too. We practice every Thursday and I practice in between rehearsals. I've also decided that I'm going to see how far I can push my left hand with piano playing. See how close I can get back to my old ability. The public library has become my new best friend. It has a fantastic DVD and VHS collection and includes many seasons of different TV shows (i.e. House) so that's cool. I've also taken to reading more books in French. (yes, this library actually has books in French) I'm determined NOT to lose my French skills before we visit abroad. I may also take a course in the fall at UAF. If I only take one class, I won't have to worry about the out of state fees. (I'll be out of state until I've been here for one year). I've been toying with the idea of going to Quebec and studying French for awhile each summer (or winter). Not sure if I want to do it yet though, since it's geared more towards a younger crowd than I am. We'll see though.

So that's what's been going on in my life. I'm trying to work out what to do with myself-- give my life meaning--not just sit on the couch watching court shows all day long. Not that I don't love Judge Judy and Judge David Young. ;)

After much careful consideration, I've decided on my career. I guess it's not really a career, but lack of one. Matt and I always made jokes about "Trophy Wives" in Oklahoma. They'd be dressed in matching sweatpant/workout suit sets, with perfectly manicured nails and hair. These sweatsuits were all kinds of colors, but each woman was dressed from head to toe in one solid color or pattern. They almost always drove huuuge SUV's and only drove them while talking on the phone. I've decided to make a career of not having a career. Seriously! I don't like what my mom calls it : "a kept woman", so I've decided to become a "trophy wife". I'm not necessarily hot enough for one, but with part of my daily routine is running, so I should be somewhat hot. Maybe? Ever since Matt started a job in Oklahoma, he was looking to the NWS as the next step. He told me that I wouldn't even have to work once he got a NWS job. The only reason he's been pushing me to get one here is because I don't know a lot of people and would be lonely. But the job market here is pretty easy to tap into if you're not picky, so I could find a job anytime if I really wanted one. (for example, this winter when we have 3 hrs of daylight). But for right now, I'm satisfied not having one. I've joined the Fairbanks Community Band, and absolutely love it. The ladies in my section are friendly and everyone is really good. That's much different from the bands I've played in before, that had all different playing levels. I'm looking for another thing to join that'll help focus my time, so we'll see what I can come up with.

My first time : Back seat relations.

Verdict : Not that comfortable. But it's such a rush...the fear of getting caught.

Matt and I took a trip down the Richardson Hwy to see the Alaska Range Mtns. There were a bunch of places along the highway to drive off a little bit and see great views. So during it all, I looked out and saw the mountains, beautiful streams (which are still frozen), and .....shit, another car. Its a good thing the windows fog up :) These people were looking out at the pretty scenery (not at us). Matt composed himself and jumped into the front seat. I lay hiding in the back under my coat. He drove away and the people looked at him and just smiled. I think we were busted. They didn't mind though. It was an older couple, but not too old. Most people around here are old hippies and really laid back , so they probably remembered back to their young days when they did the same thing.

I missed the substitute meeting. The directions I got from MapQuest totally got me lost because one of the turns never came. So I was able to find the right place...but 15 minutes late. Instead of making a bad first impression and walking in late, I decided to skip it until next Monday.

Instead, I brought all of my official documents and got my name changed to Kidwell. I just decided to do that today. I've been meaning to do it, but it's just a hassle. One that I could avoid, so why the heck not? I don't know ... it's just a name, but I still started to tear up as I signed the sheet to approve a change. I just have a problem with letting go, I guess. Appropriately enough, Matt and I have been looking for a wedding ring for me that doesn't look like a metal washer all by itself...today we found one and bought it. It's white gold with a satin finish. When we were shopping for Matt's ring, I found one I liked, but decided not to get. Now I have it :) YAY!

Matt and I are working on planning out his vacation time for the whole year. We're not sure if he can go to Eleanor's wedding because he doesn't have much vacation the first couple years here. And we're going to run the Chicago Marathon and do Nick's wedding in October...and not sure where we're going to fit it all in. ...because in late Jan-early Feb of 2009, we're going to EUROPE :) We figured we're going to do it while we're here and during the winter sounds better than wasting our ever-so-precious summertime months gone....so we're going in the dead of winter. Not ideal for Europe either because it gets cold there too, but hey, at least they have daylight there. Also, we'll visit Marseilles and that's on the Mediterranean Sea so it should be at least mild. And anything is better than 50 below that they'll have here! Anyways, that's all for now. :)

The other day Matt and I went out running on the trails near Goldstream Creek. These are right by our house and very easy to get to. It was great to get out where you can't hear the hum of traffic and can actually hear the wind blowing through the trees. This trail is strictly a winter one , since it goes over the top of a swamp and a couple of really large ponds. But for now, I love it. Even though it slows my running down a lot and is much harder, I think it's great!

Today I have the sub meeting. Finally getting back to work. I hope I like it here as much as I liked it in Oklahoma. We'll see. :) I'm saving up the money for our trip to Europe next winter. :) When the sunlight is all gone, we will be going to France :) yay! We'll return when daylight is coming back.

Matt got his first paycheck today, and wow! it's twice the amount of his in Oklahoma. That's great! .... Especially since everything here is a lot more expensive than it was there.

Temperate Alaska weather is long gone. It's back to being cold (for March anyways). It's unusual for it to be this windy too. Typically, there is absolutely no wind in Fairbanks at all. I don't want to go outside. :( booo... wind chill advisory. The wind chills expected are -40 below this evening, just slightly warmer while it's still light out. BOOOO. I think I'm going to make curtains today instead of going running. Yeah, that sounds good. Watch movies while I make curtains. :)

The highlight of the rest of Chris' visit was the Chena Hot Springs. At the end of this 60 mi road into the middle of the Chena River Rec. Area, there's a resort. They have created a very nice swimming area out of the bubbling waters of a natural hot spring. Instead of making it indoors and a swimming pool, it's more like a watering hole--surrounded by rocks and these rocks are covered in snow. It was really cool. It was only 30 degrees outside and we were all in our bathing suits in the water (which was about 100 degrees). It was amazing. Then on our drive home, we were looking out the window to the side of the road and discovered the Alaska Pipeline. Stretching over 800 miles across Alaskan mountains and underground, it goes from Prudhoe Bay (oil fields) to Valdez in southern AK right along the coast. It's really cool that one of the above ground portions is less than 10 mi from our house!! :) Cool hey?

I've come nowhere on the job front. Honestly, I feel so frickin' unmotivated to work that I don't see anything happening soon. I'm keeping myself busy here with a bunch of projects such as painting the apartment, organizing, cleaning, etc. I also throw some fun stuff in there, like Dawson's Creek and running, but mostly it's cleaning up after Matt and Zoey and upgrading things in the apartment. I don't know if Matt is really pissed about me not looking for a job, but he always says that its fine---but I can't help wondering, would he really tell me if he was mad about that? or would he just let it slide? A big part of him is all about avoiding confrontation, so he probably would hide it if it bothered him.

So anyways...I went running today and found a trail not too far off the road. I think it went over a bunch of ponds and through the woods, but it looks like it will be swampy this summer. It was gorgeous. This narrow dogsled/snomobile/walking trail went through the woods and across a pond (like I said before) and I was the only one there. It was gorgeous. Behind all the trees, I could see Murphy Dome looking down on me. It could be in a post card. That's how gorgeous it was. I'm so glad I'm not in Oklahoma anymore. Nature doesn't exist in the city. It's only man-made look-a-likes. Boo.

I'm also auditioning for the Fairbanks Community Band. I haven't played in about a year and it definitely shows. I want to audition sooner rather than later, so I'm not quite 100%, but will be auditioning sometime soon. I figure that it'll take me a few months to be 100% so I should just strive for something less. It's frustrating to look at all the music I used to play all the time with no problem..and then stumble through it all. That part kinda sucks. I guess that I brought that on myself by not playing a whole lot, but it still sucks.

Chris is here for his spring break. We haven't done a whole lot exciting, since I have no idea where the cool things are. We mostly just explore town and watch movies together. Yesterday, we went to North Pole and saw Santa's reindeer. The whole town had candy cane light poles and it really was more hideous than cool. We were trying to go to Santa's house, but it was closed. He must be on vacation. Or maybe that really proves that Santa doesn't exist.

Today, we went cross country skiing. I haven't done it in a long time and was reminded of how difficult it really is. The trail was really icy too so that didn't help me. On top of that, I forgot to bring my arm brace. I was too afraid of falling to enjoy any of the hills. Oh well..at least the view of everything was really pretty. :) I got some good pictures too. We're having dinner with Shaun and Sommer tonight.... should be fun. We're making chicken tacos and having them over this time.

Moving Trip : Part 3

Olympia, WA- Seattle, WA : We had lunch with Matt's uncle Jack and aunt Polly. It was fun and delicious. I'm glad it was free too. Free food is always good. Plus, we had a banana creme pie for dessert. That was soo good. :) We took the car to the shipping place at night and packed all of our stuff into suitcases. We had to hide some stuff in the car because it wouldn't fit in our suitcases, but it all worked out.

Seattle, WA - Fairbanks, AK : Checkout was at 11:00 so we took our time getting ready. The shuttle to the airport went right after checkout so we spent a long time at the airport. They took all our stuff and we seemed to still have a lot of heavy carry-ons. We had to just find a place to sit and settle in there instead of walking around the airport shops. Three hours waiting at the airport later, we finally boarded our plane. Zoey was a good flier. She has been great the whole trip with the exception of one day (good thing we didn't go too far then). Flying over Alaska was so cool. It was very mountainous and we could see a lot of peaks everywhere :) it's about 100 mi south of where we live, called Denali National Park. We'll have to go camping there before we move away.

The apartment was only half finished. This pissed me off big time , especially after being tired from travelling. There was pretty much no reason for things not being done (except the roof--which can only be done in the spring). We sat down and talked the following day and worked out an agreement. Matt and I will do as many repairs and upgrades as we are able to do in exchange for free laundry. It sure beats driving 20 min to town to use the laundromat. One bedroom is green and the other is blue. The movers are supposed to arrive today with all of our stuff, so I'm excited about that. I should call and see when they're coming in. Write more later

Moving Trip : Part 2

Sunday 2/23 : Los Angeles, CA. We went to Hollywood to see the sign and all the stars on the sidewalks. It was really cool. The Academy Awards were that night too so there were a lot of extra people around trying to get pictures of the stars. I didn't think that was a big deal for me to see anyone, but it was cool to see the amount of security they had to go through to get in the door. Also, seeing how much everyone else cared about the celebs was interesting too. We also took the subway. It was kinda scary. I don't think I'd ever take it alone. There are a lot of shady characters in subway stations. We went to the LaBrea Tar Pits and museums. They were really cool too and smelled like a road construction zone.

Monday 2/24: Los Angeles, CA-Stockton, CA. I've been sleeping a lot more during our trips which means seeing a lot less cool things and getting fewer pictures. This trip is just wearing me out. WE passed a bunch of mega-dairy farms that we could smell a few miles away. "Happy cows come from California" , yeah right, they were all penned up in tiny stalls. Not grazing.

Tuesday 2/25: Stockton, CA - Roseburg, OR. We drove through the Mount Shasta area and it was gorgeous. It was very mountainous like Southern CA and AZ, but these mountains had a lush greenness to them. Our motel was pretty nice so we went swimming and stuff there at night and fell asleep, absolutely exhausted.

Wednesday 2/26: Roseburg, OR - Olympia, WA. The morning was the most gorgeous view ever. There were some low clouds that we drove right into, and because of the constant dampness, all the trees were covered in moss. It was cool. I slept a lot today too. We went running along the shore today : all the boats and the smell of the sea. I loved it. On the way back from our run, I saw something on the ground that looked like money. I even pick up pennies, so I stopped. It was a bill... a $50 bill!!! We took it back to the hotel to see if the desk clerk had one of those pens to detect counterfeit bills. She said it was real. We decided to go out to dinner for seafood -- figuring a port town would have fantastic seafood. We brought along the $50. We spent about $30 on drinks and a salmon dinner. We left the rest as a tip. I figured that we got a dinner out of it, we might as well share the wealth. It will suck when the person who dropped it finally figures out its missing. The odds of the person who dropped it finding it again are slim, so I decided to take it. No point in turning it in. It wasn't in a wallet or anything. Yay. Free dinner !!! :)

Moving Trip: Part 1

Wednesday 2/20: Edmond, OK-Amarillo, TX. We left our home in Oklahoma at about 1:30. The morning was full of cleaning, packing, and returning borrowed things. It was very exhausting. I didn't sleep well the night before on the floor, so we decided to go to Amarillo. The weather was cooperative until we hit Amarillo, then the snow started--so we got there just in time. I was tired so I slept a bunch of the way.

Thursday 2/21: Amarillo, TX- Gallup, NM. This day was by far the most boring so far. North Texas and New Mexico are so flat. It's a really boring drive, but at least we got to drive fast. Its amazing how uninhabited much of this area is. And what is left is very dirty and littered with tires and trash. The plants are kinda ugly too. I've lovingly called them Roughage. We got to Gallup and decided to go running. So we dressed up in our winter gear and were ready to face the winter sleet. I didn't want to run too far because I wasn't very inspired. Thats about what ended up happening. We ran along a busy road --in the dirt. I hit a soft spot all of a sudden and was instantly up to my knees in a foul smelling mud. I was sooo pissed. We went back to the hotel and I cleaned off my shoes and pants (took nearly an hour). Matt still wanted to run, so I ran in my walking shoes and we ended up completing a total of 4 miles or so. I'm glad that we finished the run, because the sleet had stopped and it was much more enjoyable.

Friday 2/22: Gallup, NM-Bullhead City, AZ. This part of the trip has been the most beautiful. We continued through the boring part of New Mexico.. Then it got hillier and higher in elevation and it began to snow. At one part, the car was fishtailing so badly that I just wanted to pull over somewhere for awhile. But we slowed down to about 45 mph and kept on going. The snow was beautiful and was exactly the kind I had missed having all winter : the big fluffy flakes . :) We ate lunch at Denny's in Williams (outside of Albuquerque) and watched the winter wonderland. As we moved from there to Bullhead City, we went down through a bunch of valleys and the land turned back into desert. It was kinda sad to leave the snow behind. The mountains here don't really look like mountains, but like gigantic piles of gravel. We got a lot of fantastic pictures of things, but we were sure happy to get to our destination for the night. I was exhausted. We went to dinner with Jason and Andrea. They took us across the border to Nevada and we went to a big casino that was full of other things to do : shop, bowling, arcade, shows, etc. It was like a Vegas casino, but on a smaller scale. Then we went back to the apartment and hung out with Zoey. She's doing well on our trip. The first couple nights she was terrified, but now she's comfortable faster. Andrea really loved Zoey. she wanted me to leave the kitty behind.

Saturday 2/23: Bullhead City, AZ-Irvine, CA. This part was mostly desert, the Mohave Desert. I think this is the only desert in our country, but there was really nothing there as far as people, plants, and anything but sand. This kinda looked like New Mexico...empty! When we got past Apple Valley, CA, it got much hillier. It was soo beautiful. I think most of my pictures from that day were from there. The hills were beautiful and didn't look as rocky. A lot of them were snow-covered too. As we got nearer to Los Angeles, the traffic got heavier. I'm glad that Matt drove! We took a toll road into Irvine and it went right through the area that had all the wildfires last spring. It was sooo green. After not seeing anything green since November in Oklahoma, it looked especially beautiful. We went to the ocean with Rob and Leah. It was beautiful. There was no fog or haze like there usually is (they tell us) and we got to see a bunch of little sea critters that washed up on the shore. I liked hermit crabs the best. Then we went to a different beach and waded in the water. It was really cold, so we didn't go swimming like we had planned. We went to dinner and had lobster ravioli. They were expensive , but delicious! :)

It's my last day in Oklahoma. I don't really see any reason to come back, so I will probably say goodbye to it forever. It's nice here this time of year, but I'm glad I don't have to endure another summer of scorching heat. I will miss the pool, however.

This last day sure has been a busy one so far. I've been working on cleaning and packing-- nonstop since I got up. I'm taking a lunch break with Matt at noon, so that'll be nice. Then I'll take part of the afternoon off to watch Dawson and go running. I'm glad that I didn't work today. It would be really difficult to clean AND work all day without becoming extremely exhausted.

Speaking of work, yesterday was my last day of work. I substituted for a very ill middle school science teacher. She went to work and then decided she was too sick to finish out the day. I went in at 9:30. I hope I don't catch whatever she came down with, because that would suck with a very long trip. Anyways, I worked at Sequoyah Middle School. That provides some closure to it all. I had my first day of subbing at that school, and coincidentally, my last. I couldn't have asked for a better group of kids. They were 7th and 8th grade, and they worked really well. I had to do hardly any disciplining. It was a breeze compared to my very first day at Sequoyah. :)

Well I'm off to grab the laundry and meet Matt. TTFN.

What's on my mind today? Well, a few things actually. Mostly time has been taken up thinking about moving (packing, travel, cleaning, etc.). I wonder how Zoey is going to take all of this. Ever since the apartment became empty, she's been a little crazier. She doesn't sleep as much as she used to and she's super-playful. Does she sense something coming? Do cats even analyze like that? I dunno.....

I want to go running today. I hope Matt is up for it when he gets home from work. I rarely go running without him anymore. He makes the run go by faster and makes it more enjoyable. :)

That unmotivated/tired/sick slump that I was in for most of January seems to be over. I'm pretty sure it was seasonal depression and maybe a little bit of mono or something thrown in there too. I'm back to my old self, motivated to do stuff everyday and energetic. I actually WANT to go to work and clean and workout and stuff again. :) YAY!

While attempting to change the air filter on our car, I was approached by a pre-teenage girl in very conservative plain clothing. She told me that her christian school gives out scholarships each year and they raise funds for scholarships by going door-to-door selling cookbooks. Well, since cook books would be about the only type of book we'd even consider buying, it was a pretty good thing for her. I also liked that the money helped pay for a scholarship to a religious school. I'm not particularly religious, but I think it's good to support kids that are very religious. I have problems with how some churches operate. For example, the church we WERE members of was very interested in getting money out of us. Every week in the bulletin, there was a mathematical equation that would help you to calculate the proper amount that you were EXPECTED to pay each year. For us, we were supposed to put up 1/10 of our yearly income to the church! and we barely scrape by with rent, utilities, and food. I absolutely hated being guilted into giving money, and just the fact that they expected us to do it, that we eventually stopped going at all. I believe in God and try to be a good person, but going to church and smell greed when I walk in the door, it's not pleasant. Everyone here tries to out-do the other in church, in the way they dress, and the cars they drive. It is just so materialistic, and I don't like b eing reminded of it every week, so I choose not to go.

Anyways, this is my long-winded way of saying this : If a child comes to me asking to buy something to support their church group, it usually goes directly to the kids and not to a greedy church, so I give it to them. Besides, she was cute and innocent... it was like having to say "no" to a cute little bunny rabbit.

Have you had one of those days that everything seems to go wrong? Well, today is my day. It all started as soon as I got up. I got up reasonably early so I could find a sub job. I found one that I wanted (HS Latin) and kept trying to accept it. Sub-finder wouldn't let me, saying someone else was reviewing the job and I should try again. So I tried, for about 30 min to pick up this job. So I went to the phone Sub-finder and picked it up 10 min before the job was to begin. Then, I called the school to tell them I was indeed coming, but I'd be 10 minutes late (which they said was ok), so I rushed to get dressed and make a lunch and was putting on my shoes when the phone call. As it turns out, the Sub-finder system was a little screwed up and somehow had assigned me and another lady to the same job. So after all the rushing, I ended up with no job.

Then, I figured I'd be productive. I cleaned marks off of the wall and started some laundry. In between changing loads, I ran to the post office with a package for Emily. Since we have no packing supplies, I hadn't packed my box at home. I loaded my list of things to do (which I wrote in my food diary for the day), the stuff I was sending to Emily, and a box, into the car. At the post office, I bought packing tape and packed up my box. It cost $10, a little high for PJs and a tshirt, but whatever, shipping stuff is expensive-- plus, it included the $3 for the tape. Anyways... I went home to change the laundry and thought of another thing I needed to do today, so I began looking for my list of stuff. I couldn't find it anywhere. After ripping the house apart, I began retracing my steps. No, it wasn't in the laundry room. I didn't drop it outside the car at the apartment. I thought, it MUST be at the post office. I drove there really quick. It wasn't in the parking space I used, it wasn't at the table I used, and after asking a teller, determined it wasn't at the post office. So I am completely frustrated right now. I hate not knowing where my things are. The ONLY place I can imagine it being is inside the package going to Emily. I'll have to wait a week or so until I find out if that is indeed where it went to. I'm such an idiot. Grrrr! So I need to go buy a new food diary and try to think of the things that I was going to do today. GRRRRRRR!

Matt and I are trying to decide which way to go on our trip to Seattle. I want to make it somewhat like a vacation and stop to see fun things, but he just wants to get there. We have extra time so we'd make it there days early if we just drove on and on. I don't know if I want to go through California or through the mountains and Utah. There's not too much terribly exciting through the mountains except for the mountains themselves. Our California route would add a lot of miles (about 8 hrs of driving) but would include the ocean (!!!) and the Grand Canyon. I would like to go through California and see the ocean and all that stuff, but I don't know how Zoey would like doing all the extra travelling.

----

Another thing I keep wrestling with is what to do with my hair. It's doomed to be baby-fine forever and there's not much I can do with it other than use the frickin' blow dryer all the time. I could get another perm and that would eliminate almost all the maintenance, but they are frizzy and sort of out-dated. I dunno...... We'll see what happens as it gets longer...

The movers came yesterday and now it seems as though my apartment has grown 3 sizes larger in the matter of just one day! It's kinda like how the apartment was when Matt first moved in. He only had the stuff that fit in his car, so there was no bed, no couch, no tv, and pretty much nothing else. It's very spacious. :) I do miss the TV already. I wish I could watch the news while eating breakfast like I've grown accustomed to doing. I also miss the lamp, whose light switch is near the door. It sucks having to walk through an entire room before being able to turn any lights on. Ah well, it appears that we will have enough suitcase room to accomodate everything we're flying to Alaska with. So that's excellent. :) I just hope nothing gets broken because of the way it was packed. As long as they don't shake things and turn them upside down, they should be fine. Zoey is sure confused. She was locked in the bathroom for this whole moving/packing process, so she came out at the end of the day to a room that had NOTHING in it. She misses having a nice comfy place to sleep. We won't let her sleep on our bed anymore since it's an air mattress and she's got claws....poor confused kitty. Sorry Zoey, but this is only getting worse until we get to Alaska.

It's "Super Tuesday", the day that all the remaining states vote in the primary election for president. Oklahoma's primary is set up in such a way that you can only vote if you're registered as a democrat or a republican. So I go to the voting place and have the republicans and democrats look me up in their books. As it turns out, I am part of neither and had registered to vote as an independent. So I couldn't vote, and that bummed me out.

It's raining today and I'm a busy bee. The movers come tomorrow so I'm busy cleaning, doing laundry, and sifting through everything, trying to make sure I'm not forgetting anything. I have to put all our remaining stuff into a closet and hide it from the movers. It's less of a disaster today too.... there's less stuff strewn about. Well, back to work...

Ahh, the Super Bowl. The biggest football game of the year. Two weeks ago was the biggest game for me. I so wanted the Packers to win. They came farther than anyone had ever imagined, but it still sucks when they lose THAT CLOSE to the Super Bowl. Anyhow.... I have a lot of fond memories of Super Bowl games through the years that I thought I'd share:

Growing up, the family went to Rick Olson's Super Bowl party. It always had 3 tvs and an amazing smattering of snack foods. For a kid, this was heaven. My parents never let us eat a lot of junk food, so we always went nuts when we were faced with nearly every type of food at once. Also, as a kid, I was a bottomless pit that could eat for hours and never get full. We'd play on the floor in the living room while eating and drinking (pop) ourselves silly. Brynn and Neal were always there so we had our food and best friends.

In college, I didn't have TV or friends interested in football, so I didn't watch the Super Bowl at all. The year I was doing cancer treatments, I had a Super Bowl party in the hospital. I was getting chemo and ended up falling asleep after eating pizza with Jenna and Dad. I don't remember anything about the game and the whole day was a haze.

This is actually my first Super Bowl since cancer. Elliot, Steve, Matt, and I are having a small party. Elliot got a new big TV and we're going to bring snacks. It should be fun, but nothing will ever measure up to Rick's parties. :)

Now that I think about it, I haven't had the flu since I was about 10 years old. I must've been due for one, because HOLY SHIT, did I get it bad on Thursday. Today is the first day I've been able to go online without feeling like I'll throw up all over the computer. I also had to reintroduce myself to solid foods. But now that the peeing out my butt is over, I'm starting to feel better. It's kinda funny that the first thing I wanted to eat when I was feeling better was tortilla chips and queso dip. Wierd hey?

What else is news here... Everything about the move is finally arriving. We're getting rid of our stuff on Wednesday. Woohoo! I hope the air mattress from Mary is comfortable.

Tommorrow I have my 2 1/2 yr cancer check-ups. As time goes by, these tests don't make me less nervous that it'll show something bad. I also worry that there aren't many tests done anymore. I hurt my right arm last week and it feels a lot like my left arm felt when it started hurting after that hockey game. That worries me. :( I hate knowing the reality of illnesses and not being in the "it won't happen to me" group like my peers. A lot of people also say, "oh, I'm too young for that to happen to me." You're so wrong.

Zoey is snuggled up with my feet and she's twitching... does that mean she's dreaming? Maybe she's chasing a big juicy mouse! Get it Zoey! :) I just love my kitty.

I'm finally starting to feel better after surgery. That day, I just slept a lot and kinda lounged around in a very drugged state. I didn't have anything but ice cream. Yesterday I was less groggy and was trying to wean myself off of the pain killers. I also got my appetite back. But that made for problems. I was unable to feel full eating just soft food such as yogurt, ice cream, and soup. So I tried mac and cheese. That filled me up but hurt the roof of my mouth. So today, since I'm sooo hungry all the time, I took to eating just overcooked mac and cheese (so it's softer) and drinking SlimFast to get the vitamins that the mac and cheese sure isn't giving me. Hopefully I'll be able to eat harder foods soon. Yesterday I tried canned mangos and it was too hard and hurt my mouth :(. Booo!

Good news is that I'm able to feel full again--FINALLY! :)

Today I had that mouth surgery. I was sooo very very nervous. It wasn't too bad really. I had laughing gas and couldn't tell what was going on after I was numbed. The worst part of having dental work is being numbed and feeling like your jaw is 10x the size it really is. I'm sort of swollen, but it doesn't hurt too badly. I've got a lot of pain killers left over from cancer surgery, so I'm taking that instead of what the doctor prescribed. My mouth hurts a lot when I eat and I'm soooo hungry :(. The milkshakes I ate this afternoon and evening didn't fill me up at all. Grrr! I want cheese and sausage and or pizza. :( This is so not fair, my hands smell like the sausage too......

Bad news :I just got a paper cut on my finger from a tampon applicator.

Good news: I got to put a Hello Kitty bandaid on it.

I wish the movers would just get our stuff out of the way already. We've been sifting through the apartment, trying to figure out what we'll have the movers take and what we're going to keep with us, and stuff is literally everywhere. I've always felt a little claustrophobic by clutter and for that reason, I've always been such a neat-freak. This is sort of making me freak out. Matt doesn't understand my neatness either, so when I try to talk about it with him, he says I have to compromise. I haven't been sleeping very well and I think that this has contributed to it. When I lived by myself, I couldn't fall asleep if I knew that things were messy. That may be it now.......

On Friday, I'm having surgery on my mouth. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's not absolutely necessary right now, but I'm doing it now to make sure things don't get worse. I have gum recession on a couple of my teeth, so they are taking a bit of gums from the roof of my mouth and putting it in under the gums of the problem teeth. It should make the gums thicker so the recession stops. I wish I had dental insurance.... real bad. This is going to cost two months of substitute pay.

I feel really bad that I keep cancelling some of the sub jobs. It's become that I've cancelled one in five jobs I sign up for. Lately, I've been feeling sick a lot. It's not any sickness that is persistent enough to go to a doctor for, but something that still makes me want to curl up in front of the tv and lounge around everyday.....I have nasty headaches every evening, I don't know what it is. They do feel worse on days that its warm and windy--so it may be a resurgence of my allergies. I stopped taking my allergy meds in early Dec. when it froze a week in a row. I guess the worst part of it all is that I feel like I let Matt down each time. He says it doesn't bother him that I cancel jobs, but it seems like he bottles up his feelings a lot. Nobody can be TRULY ok with everything I do, can they?

It's been almost a week since I came back from a visit with my family. It was really good for the most part : a lot of quality time with the family without outside distractions. I went running a lot with Chris and one day, on our run, had a snowball fight. I chatted with Emily while she cleaned her room and we went to Goodwill. I also had a quality talk with Mom. Her relationship with Dad has definitely gone beyond the point of repair. Its kind of upsetting to see, but I absolutely understand why she feels that way. When I was living at home before the wedding, I cried on multiple occasions because Dad would get mad at me for the stupidest of things. He still gets mad like that. I don't know what's wrong with him in his head, but there's definitely something. He's very controlling and insists on having things done his way. His world is so warped.

Last week, I shared my (other) cancer journal with Aunt Cathy. There was a lot of this stuff about Dad in it. She attributed it to my treatment frustrations and went on to say "he loves you and has a soft streak a mile long"..blah blah blah. Well I'm sure that he does, but he sure doesn't show it. He never says he loves us and I'm not surprised his family comes to his defense. They never see the mean man underneath. If someone would only stay for the weekend, they'd see. His "nice guy" facade only lasts a few days. My friends always thought he was nice until they spent the night. I think it would take a few days longer because he'd try harder to keep up his nice guy routine, but I'm sure he'll crumble someday in front of his family and they will all see.

Mom is planning on leaving him once she feels like she has enough money to support herself and Emily, who lives at home and probably will for another few years at least.

I know I say it a lot, but I'm sure glad that I don't live at home anymore! A life without drama sure feels good. I'm still on the periphery of my family drama and it isn't fun, but it isn't to the degree of being in the thick of it all. *sigh*

I am such a slacker, did you know that? I was talking to Matt the other day and he asked me why I stopped journaling. I guess that I've been using him as a journal. He told me that he wouldn't remember as well as my book would, so here I am, writing in my trusty journal again.

In less than two months, Matt and I are moving to Fairbanks, Alaska. He began to panic after DTN didn't offer him a job, so he applied for all the NWS jobs in the country and HE GOT FAIRBANKS! He's really excited about his new job, and the jury is still out as to whether I want to go live there. I am, however, very excited about the road trip we are going to make to get there. I love road trips and I think I'll be adding several new states to the list of places I've been to.