I wish the movers would just get our stuff out of the way already. We've been sifting through the apartment, trying to figure out what we'll have the movers take and what we're going to keep with us, and stuff is literally everywhere. I've always felt a little claustrophobic by clutter and for that reason, I've always been such a neat-freak. This is sort of making me freak out. Matt doesn't understand my neatness either, so when I try to talk about it with him, he says I have to compromise. I haven't been sleeping very well and I think that this has contributed to it. When I lived by myself, I couldn't fall asleep if I knew that things were messy. That may be it now.......

On Friday, I'm having surgery on my mouth. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's not absolutely necessary right now, but I'm doing it now to make sure things don't get worse. I have gum recession on a couple of my teeth, so they are taking a bit of gums from the roof of my mouth and putting it in under the gums of the problem teeth. It should make the gums thicker so the recession stops. I wish I had dental insurance.... real bad. This is going to cost two months of substitute pay.

I feel really bad that I keep cancelling some of the sub jobs. It's become that I've cancelled one in five jobs I sign up for. Lately, I've been feeling sick a lot. It's not any sickness that is persistent enough to go to a doctor for, but something that still makes me want to curl up in front of the tv and lounge around everyday.....I have nasty headaches every evening, I don't know what it is. They do feel worse on days that its warm and windy--so it may be a resurgence of my allergies. I stopped taking my allergy meds in early Dec. when it froze a week in a row. I guess the worst part of it all is that I feel like I let Matt down each time. He says it doesn't bother him that I cancel jobs, but it seems like he bottles up his feelings a lot. Nobody can be TRULY ok with everything I do, can they?