It's been almost a week since I came back from a visit with my family. It was really good for the most part : a lot of quality time with the family without outside distractions. I went running a lot with Chris and one day, on our run, had a snowball fight. I chatted with Emily while she cleaned her room and we went to Goodwill. I also had a quality talk with Mom. Her relationship with Dad has definitely gone beyond the point of repair. Its kind of upsetting to see, but I absolutely understand why she feels that way. When I was living at home before the wedding, I cried on multiple occasions because Dad would get mad at me for the stupidest of things. He still gets mad like that. I don't know what's wrong with him in his head, but there's definitely something. He's very controlling and insists on having things done his way. His world is so warped.

Last week, I shared my (other) cancer journal with Aunt Cathy. There was a lot of this stuff about Dad in it. She attributed it to my treatment frustrations and went on to say "he loves you and has a soft streak a mile long"..blah blah blah. Well I'm sure that he does, but he sure doesn't show it. He never says he loves us and I'm not surprised his family comes to his defense. They never see the mean man underneath. If someone would only stay for the weekend, they'd see. His "nice guy" facade only lasts a few days. My friends always thought he was nice until they spent the night. I think it would take a few days longer because he'd try harder to keep up his nice guy routine, but I'm sure he'll crumble someday in front of his family and they will all see.

Mom is planning on leaving him once she feels like she has enough money to support herself and Emily, who lives at home and probably will for another few years at least.

I know I say it a lot, but I'm sure glad that I don't live at home anymore! A life without drama sure feels good. I'm still on the periphery of my family drama and it isn't fun, but it isn't to the degree of being in the thick of it all. *sigh*