Definitely an uninspired mood today. It's not often that I feel like writing in this thing, so we'll see what comes out.

Well, first of all, my health has been kinda bothering me. I've been having headaches almost everyday. I started back on my allergy meds and am going to the chiropractor on Monday, so hopefully those will go away with one of those things. I also have been having weird stomach problems with feeling nauseous only in the morning before I eat breakfast. It's not hunger pangs so who knows. I thought I might be pregnant, so I did the test and it's not that. So it's not morning sickness... My blood pressure has been up lately, but it could be my headaches stressing me out and causing pain. On top of that, I've been feeling really tired a lot since Christmas. I could be perfectly fine and just need to take more iron (I take some every other day now because I was feeling weak , read : anemia) so maybe I need to up it to every day. I don't eat much meat (maybe one or two meals a week) so it wouldn't be a surprise at all. Anyways, this is the rational Karen talking now. Sometimes I get the same girl who fought cancer a couple years ago and she pretty much breaks down into a huge panic. I met her again the other day. I totally freaked out about this whole thing. I don't usually just think, oh it's just this or that and have a response for each symptom with a different cause, I think CANCER. More specifically, I think leukemia, which happens in 5% of survivors that used my chemo meds. Yeah, it's not many, but only 200 people have Ewing's in the US every year, and I still got it. So lets just say, I'm not too good with odds.

I've been running a lot more lately, (up to 4 days a week or more) so I'm sure that is causing stress and fatigue. But as a runner of several years, I know the difference between over-exercising fatigue and the other kind. Some days it's one, some it's the other. Maybe I just need focus to my life. Anyways, lets switch gears here. Happy thoughts. OK.

Living here in Alaska has made me miss home. Spring comes much later here and I hate that people back home are going places without coats and wearing shorts. I'm jealous! I really love it here, though, don't get me wrong. I just want some warmer weather soon!

I've been asked what I do all day since I don't work. Well, I do a lot of wasting time. I've gotten sucked into the America's Next Top Model thing and have been watching previous episodes on YouTube a lot. I run a bunch everyday (or most everyday), and with that comes an hour or so of stretching and strength training and sometimes yoga. Matt usually doesn't compliment my body a lot, and last night he's like... you have really buff legs, where'd you get those? That's really nice to hear. :) I have been working with an exercise ball and yoga. I have sore butt muscles sometimes, but I like it. Soreness like that means progress. :) I've been playing in the Fairbanks Community Band lately too. We practice every Thursday and I practice in between rehearsals. I've also decided that I'm going to see how far I can push my left hand with piano playing. See how close I can get back to my old ability. The public library has become my new best friend. It has a fantastic DVD and VHS collection and includes many seasons of different TV shows (i.e. House) so that's cool. I've also taken to reading more books in French. (yes, this library actually has books in French) I'm determined NOT to lose my French skills before we visit abroad. I may also take a course in the fall at UAF. If I only take one class, I won't have to worry about the out of state fees. (I'll be out of state until I've been here for one year). I've been toying with the idea of going to Quebec and studying French for awhile each summer (or winter). Not sure if I want to do it yet though, since it's geared more towards a younger crowd than I am. We'll see though.

So that's what's been going on in my life. I'm trying to work out what to do with myself-- give my life meaning--not just sit on the couch watching court shows all day long. Not that I don't love Judge Judy and Judge David Young. ;)