"You see how foggy it is out there. Pretty crappy. Summer is exactly like this. Fog. Say goodbye to sunshine, you won't see it again until September", she announced.
This is the greeting I got this morning as I opened the door for my workout buddy. I spent the rest of the morning in a dismal foggy mood, not sure how my usual cheery demeanor became so dark. Then it dawned on me : I don't really have any Eureka friends that actually enjoy living here. This negative attitude has rubbed off on me. Matt's attitude has been altered by all the negativity of living here, too. After having enough people tell me how much it sucks living here and how winter sucks and summer sucks, I start to believe it myself.
And that's not true. There are always pluses and minuses to living wherever you live. That is something that living in five different states in the past ten years has taught me. It's not terrible here:
- No winter means these things :
1. My running has never been more consistent.
2. No face mask tan-lines.
3. People and germs aren't as confined, thus I haven't gotten a cold since March 2010.
- No warm, sunny summer means these things :
1. no sunburn.
2. no wildfire smoke days that give me horrendous headaches.
3. We DO get sunshine. It comes at about noon and lasts for an hour, between the fog burning off and the sea breeze (and stratus clouds) kicking in. I don't work, so I can totally schedule to be outside during the sunshine. (I even got tan lines yesterday from the 20 min I was out in the sun.)
I don't want to become one of those Anywhere but Here people. It will close me off to fully enjoying the present. Looking forward, looking back. How about right now?
So, sorry about last night's freak out. It really was just that: a moment of collapse. In all honesty, I have major bouts of homesickness for two places : the trails around Fairbanks and a natural area just south of my parents' house in Iron Mountain (MI). I never feel completely removed from Fumee Lake (near my parents') because I return at least once a year to see family. Without obligation to return to Alaska, I feel like it's gone forever.
3 comments:
First can I just say that live traffic feed thing creeps me out? It knows where I'm from! It could look like I'm stalking this blog! Urgghh. Anyhow, I hope it gets better.
It took me a long time in my life to realize that surrounding myself with negative people was not good for me or my outlook, so GOOD FOR YOU for recogizing that for what it is.
Having never been to northern CA, it sounds beautiful. But that's coming from the girl who grew up in northern MN. And just like you miss Fairbanks, I miss it terribly. EVERY time I drive to MN, something happens to my soul almost the second I cross the state line. No matter how long it's been, I feel like I'm home. I don't know if I'll ever live there again, but it's part of me...
Maybe in the end it is only about how we see things and not about where we are and what we are doing.
Enjoy Eureka, it is such a magical place.
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